At what point do you start to accept responsibility for being an adult and stop relying on other people to hold your hand throughout the process? I feel that once you are out of college and in the "real world" for a couple months, you have gained enough knowledge to understand, although not always appreciate, the value of doing things on your own and not being reminded a million billion times to do something. Something as simple as an RSVP. Come on people, if an e-mail, invitation, etc. has "Please RSVP no later than DATE AND TIME. Then do so. Don't think, well I'm not going, so I don't need to let anyone know. Yes, yes you do. Because the person who sent the request is expecting you to be responsible enough to acknowledge that they requested a response. COMMON CURTEOSY. This happens to me A LOT at work. I find it ridiculous that I spend my valuable time following up with people who have not followed up with me. It's a viscous circle. I will admit that I do contribute to this cycle by enabling those that cannot and simply do not think they need to follow the general guidelines. When I first started in my current position, I was very accommodating. I order lunch quarterly for team members and I send out an e-mail asking if they want A, B, C, or are not attending. In the beginning I'd say something like, Oh Sally you didn't sign up, that's ok I took the liberty of ordering extra anyway. Or- Oh that's ok John feel free to eat lunch with us even though you didn't indicate you were attending, I just won't eat. Enabling these chronic non RSVPers does not solve the problem. I got tired of having left-overs, so I began only ordering food for those who RSVP by the deadline. Did that work? No. Because Sally and John still attended the luncheon without an RSVP and Matt and Sara had no food (and by no food I mean they couldn't gorge themselves). When Matt or Sara would say, Why isn't there any food for me. I'd think, what the hell, why are you bitching it's free food and you already ate a slab of ribs and three pieces of pizza. I would instead say, Talk to Sally and John since they didn't sign up but still ate. I thought the peer pressure and embarrassment would do the trick, but no. Now, I understand in the grand scheme of things, responding to a lunch request is not on your top priority of things to do. I understand. But understand that if you don't respond, DON'T COME AND EAT STUPID. After two years, I am still following up with people. I can't seem to find the right solution. If I just assume someone is not attending because they don't RSVP by the deadline and I don't let's say order a plane ticket or reserve a hotel room for them for our sales incentive trip, then that's a big deal. I guess in the end, part of my job is to follow up with people who are not courteous and have no respect for me.

Another example … a woman in my alumnae group for my sorority, who I'll name Bertha. Bertha is my age, wants to be involved, but yet doesn't quite get the whole follow up thing. We were asked if we wanted to attend a lecture. Four of us said yes, which included Bertha. We gave the organizer our e-mail address and phone number and were told we'd have an e-mail in the next couple of days to advise if we got the tickets or not. The event is tonight. The organizer e-mailed us on Tuesday and said yes we got the tickets. Three of us acknowledged that we were still interested in attending and where we should meet to pick up the tickets. Bertha has not responded. I get an e-mail this morning from one of the other girls who asks if I heard from Bertha. I replied, "No, I haven't. I figure, she knows she signed up, she gave her e-mail address, she should be responsible for knowing what's going on." I'm definitely not calling Bertha. I e-mailed the girls and said, I'll be there at 7pm in the lobby, here's my cell phone, call me if you can't find me.

Sometimes, I'd like to shake people like this and say, Who are you? Do you think you're really that important and busy that you can't respond? You're parents should be ashamed. I don't think I'm exaggerating! Or maybe I am, just a little.

I think I should probably let this little pet peeve of mine go. After all, I am planning a wedding and will more than likely have to follow up with my family and friends and see if they are planning on attending our special day.