Since we've gotten engaged, I've been more interested in my religion. I would like our children to be raised in a religious and spiritual family. I think it's important for our children to have a solid religious foundation. I know it will help shape them into the person they will become. I was raised in the Catholic church. I attended mass weekly. I also attended CCD (religious education) classes all the way up until my confirmation when I was 16. Once I was confirmed, I occasionally attended church. I have faith and I have my beliefs, but not the dedication to attend weekly services. When I got to college, I became close friends with those in my sorority, and it just so happened that many of them were Catholic . I started attending mass with the girls. While I didn't go every week, it was nice to know that when I wanted to go, I would have friends to go with. When I moved back home after school, I hardly ever attended mass. When Ryan and I moved to St. Louis Park last May, I thought, Good, I can find a church and become a member. I went to three different churches. I really didn't find any of them very exciting. I'm not sure what I was expecting to find, but most of them were just ok.

When we got engaged, I felt pressured to pick a church and join so that we could be married there. Before joining the church, I corresponded with the Priest via e-mail and Ryan & I met with him. He seemed very nice and welcoming at that time. I decided to join and that would be the church we would be married in.

Since Ryan and I went to "Live God's Love" back in February, my interest in my religion has become even more of a priority for me. I'm 27 years old, I have a wonderful fiancé, an amazing family, I'm a home owner, I have a good job, great friends, and a fulfilling life, yet something seems to be missing. I believe what's missing is my involvement in the church. Ryan has been extremely supportive of my decision to become a better Catholic. And I love him for that.

Our last meeting with our Priest however, left me with a sour taste in my mouth. My pastor doesn't know us, isn't trying to get to know us, nor is he trying to guide me in my faith. I don't feel like these three things are too much to ask for during marriage preparation classes. I'm looking for a church to raise our children in, a church that openly accepts us for who we are, not the mistakes or non-Catholic ways we've chosen in the past. If being Catholic means that you are judging of people and rude and sarcastic, then I don't want to be Catholic and I especially don't want those qualities in my Priest, the man who will marry us. I feel like it's my fault though. I feel that I didn't do enough research before selecting a church to join and be married in. But I did. I have mixed feelings about it.

Most of my friends now are not Catholic and the topic would be very hard for non-Catholics to understand. Frankly, I don't want to discuss this with my friends. It's too personal. I do have a friend though whose family is very Catholic. I spoke with her about it and she recommend that I contact her Priest that recently moved to a church not too far from us. So I did. Ryan and I went to a service and wow! This was what I was looking for in my search for a new church. It's hard to imagine that this church is Catholic. The spirit of the congregation is amazing. Ryan and I were eager to find out if we could get married at this church instead. Then we looked in the church bulletin while waiting for mass to begin and noticed that the bulletin read, "Those who are interested in being married at this church must be a member for one year and notify the church at least six months prior to the date." Shoot. It wouldn't hurt to ask though! Then we heard the homily. The sermon was all about following the Good Shepherd and how sometimes we have rules that we follow but then other times we have exceptions to those rules and how God expects us to use good judgment in deciding when to make an exception. BINGO! We would like an exception please! I e-mailed the Priest immediately after the service. He e-mailed us back saying he would help in whatever way he could. He didn't say no to us. He didn't say yes, but we still have hope. Unless he's tricking us. We went to the service again this past weekend and have the same feelings. I feel like his church is a church that I want to be a part of. So now what? We meet with my current Priest this evening. We're going to give him another chance. I hope we will openly discuss our feelings and how to move forward. Later this week, we will also meet with the other Priest and see what if anything can be done about getting married at that church. I'm looking forward to speaking with my Priest and feeling a sense of welcome and understanding and a feeling that he wants us to be married and is excited for us. We're going to spend the rest of our lives together! We are committed to each other. We are happy. Why can't he be happy for us too?